Tuesday, March 31, 2009

New Recycling Guidelines

As you may know Karen spends a fortune on garbage removal
for Sandpipers...hundreds every week.
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As a cost cutting move and to help GREEN Sandpipers
she is implementing new measures to reduce household waste,
and eliminate the need for dumpsters.
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All households, mobiles and RV's, will in
future burn their refuse in portable home incinerators.
In the beginning we will have to share the incinerators (they'll be on wheels)
but hopefully, in the near future, each two or three homes
will have an incinerator positioned close by.
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For a short while all residents will burn their trash on the day of the week
that corresponds to the first letter of their last name.
For example, Zabritski starts with a Z and as there are no days that start
with the letter Z the Zabritski's may use any day for burning that is convenient.
Now the Morris's on the other hand may only burn on Mondays.
Pretty innovative and clear.
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The costs for these new incinerators will initially be born by management,
until the next contract time rolls around.
At that time the cost will be rolled over into the next price increase.
You'll hardly notice it.
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Now you won't have to burn everything.
For one thing, right now we have a burn ban in effect,
so extra measures should be taken to reduce your burnable trash.
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There are alternatives to burning household and yard wastes:
Below is a list of what you can do to limit the amount of burning.
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Reduce usage--buy in bulk or larger quantities and
demand less packaging on the products you buy.
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Reuse items--find someone else who can use it, have a yard sale,
or donate it to a resale organization.
Recycle newspaper, office paper, cardboard, corrugated cardboard,
magazines, aluminum, metal and acceptable plastics.
Compost leaves and plant clippings.
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Consult your local government to find out whether local ordinances
allow you to compost raw vegetables, bread, egg shells and coffee grounds.
Or really, I think we can chuck it all over the fence.
There are goats there, you know.
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Chip brush and clean wood to make mulch or decorative chips,
or use it as heating fuel in wood stoves or boilers.
Karen is investigating a wood chip burning air conditioning system.
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Dispose of allowable waste materials at a licensed landfill.
We'll caravan over to the landfill on Calling All Gals Luncheon Days so we won't waste trips.
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For more information about what items may be disposed
of at licensed landfills, contact the Edinburg Recycling Program.

If we all work together it will be a smooth transition.

It should work just fine, and we can roast marshmallows any time.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

April Fools (I think)

Bob and Bernie #36 said...

Sounds like a great concept. With our last name beginning with an H does that mean we get to burn on Holidays?????? Well at least we will get to burn about 6 times, Halloween, Thanksgiving, X-mas, New Years, Valentines and St. Patricks. Usually we are gone by Easter. Happy Holidays

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful idea. I also think we should think about using the wind to power everything here. The first thing we would need would be a windmill or someone full of plenty of hot air.
I could work on this occasionally but will need time to restock on the hot air. I think we could mount sails on our bicycles and golf carts. Think of the fun, we could have golf cart regattas. The ideas are endless. Put those windmills on your roof, the winds down here will make it necessary for everyone to have surge protectors on everything.

As another cost saving we could all start using candles instead of electric lights.

Well, Easter is coming and as Bernie said, those of us with initials beginning with H need to get our s....stuff together for the burning.

On the search for furniture, it appears as though we may soon have a bedroom in the new house.

See you all soon.

Thanks for reading, is that a bug on your shoulder, Harry

David 211 said...

I think we could also save the cost of incinerators, too. Why don't we all become REAL Texans and just deposit our trash along Seminary Road, like the natives do?

Anonymous said...

What a fantastic idea! As a kid growing up (as I'm sure with many of you) we used burn barrels and ours sat about 10 feet from the outhouse.
EUREKA!

In interest to the environment, outhouses are actually very GREEN.
They require no use of precious water supply (will save Karen on water bill). Briar patches (blackberry perferred) have natural fertilizer when planted nearby, no need for holding tank chemicals, require no scrubing (chemicals again).

Does anyone know if we have to wait to build our outhouses until a barrel is delivered? Remember, if you place the burn barrel close to the outhouse, it provides additional heat on those cold mornings, true Texans love 'em.
L.D. #306

Anonymous said...

So if an "S" and a "T" live together, they can burn on Sat., Sun., Tues. and Thurs. Cool!

Anonymous said...

sound good about recycling, but dumb reguarding any burning of trash. there are many who can't take the smoke or want to.

Anonymous said...

Good one! It's April 1st, right?

Sue said...

I hate to admit it, but you had me shaking my head in bewilderment. So call me gullible. Where do you come up with this stuff?????

Anonymous said...

I truly do not understand why the cost of these barrels should be passed to the residents. It is a cost saving measure for the management getting the residents to do even more, giving the owners more money in their pockets. Just like the grass mowing. Rent was not suppose to go up, yet it did because she cut services to the residence. Yeppy Skippy!!! More expense to us!!!!

SueZ said...

I am laughing so much I may need Depends! Surely Sandpeeps are not this gullible?! You're pulling my leg, right?
I mean really...matching the letter "Z" to the first letter of the day of the week....throw your garbage to the goats....caravan with the Ladies Who Lunch to the dump...
Laugh a little, SandPeeps!