Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Notes from the Office:


Notes From the Office:

We are still seeing the speed limit signs ignored, even after putting up several reminders. The 10 miles an hour limit applies to not just cars, but golf carts, bicycles and especially runners.  You know who you are-slow down, this isn’t a 5K course! Starting in May all roads will become one way with designated lanes for cars, carts, bicycles and people, both walkers and runners. Any infractions will mean loss of grounds privileges for one week.  You will have to park your car, cart, or bike outside the gate.

Sandpipers is now a hi-tech park with sophisticated computer and monitoring equipment.  That said we mean to become serious about dog poop. Too many of our residents have had animals defecating and urinating at their sites on our expensive grass.  All dogs must now use the central park area for all elimination purposes, and since not all dogs can be controlled owners are being asked to hand carry their dogs to the central park.  If the dog is too large to carry use your car or cart, but don’t park on the grass or block the road. 

Because of the hi-tech caliber of our equipment we now can identify your dog by analyzing your dog's diet and using the patented software: Doggie DNA.  In order for that to work you must register your pet’s diet with the office. 
 This is mandatory!
Kits available in the office for $15 per pet. Pet poop patrol will be watching and collecting evidence-you MUST pick up after your pet.  The poop must be triple bagged and deposited on a Tuesday or Thursday in the main dumpster. If the DNA of YOUR pet is identified by the Poop patrol you will be assigned to the Poop patrol for one month.

We hope these new rules will ensure that Sandpipers remains one of the friendlist and cleanest resorts in the country.

1 comment:

LD said...

Luv your sense of humor Suez. Is there a test for men who just "Go out back" and if discovered in the test must they then squat for a week?