I think you might enjoy some of the past April Fool's Jokes!
Recap of Past April 1st Columns
Recap of Past April 1st Columns
Thursday, April 1, 2010
In an
effort to help control increasing costs a new recreational fee program will be
implemented by Oct 1st. Residents may purchase a variety of recreational
programs that best meet their needs.
The following monthly packages will be offered:
The following monthly packages will be offered:
- Pool/Spa
- Tennis
- Petanque
- Water Volleyball
- Evening Programs (may include dances and other events utilizing the pavilion facilities)
-
To help residents achieve the most out of their recreational costs, we will
offer a series of subscription tiers:
Basic - choose one recreational program for a low rate of $10/month or $100 annually
- Bronze - choose
two programs for a low rate of $15/month or $150 annually
- Silver - choose
three programs for a low rate of $18/monthly or $180 annually
- Gold - all
recreational programs for a low rate of $20/monthly or $200 annually
Offering these programs
helps ensure residents are only paying for the entertainment that meets their
needs. Entertainment cards will be issued documenting the appropriate program
for your subscription. To obtain more information on these programs please see
Karen at the Office or contact Jon at lot 221.
****************************************************************************
Friday, April 1, 2011
Message from the powers that be:
As you are all aware we had a little incident
a few weeks ago involving several
teenagers breaking
into Sandpipers with resulting police
activity.
In the interest of resort security it has been
decided that
we need to wear ID name tags with lot number
also visible.
*
Those residents owning premium lots have the
option
of gold embossing around the edge of their ID
card.
The tags of ordinary people with ordinary lots
will be outlined in colors to match the Sandpiper palm tree/sun logo.
*
Tom will be available to take pictures
and lanyards will be supplied by the office.
Check soon to have the best pick of
colors.
*
The ID picture cards will be encased in
plastic with an opening for folding money which will come in handy...buying
food from Flip Flopz for example, or tickets to our many fun events.
It is requested that you wear your ID name
tags
inside and outside the park, for several
reasons.
*
First, it is a great way to advertise
our wonderful resort (tho in keeping with local
sensibilities we will leave the word "nudist" out and just have
Sandpipers Resort prominently displayed.)
*
Second, and perhaps even more
importantly,
our residents are not getting any younger
and a reminder of where you
live may come in handy, not to mention if you forget your name.
*
I know
most of you will welcome this increased security measure and your support is
appreciated.
*****************************************************************
April 1, 2012
Here are a few more notes from Karen:
********
Have you noticed the HUGE numbers of little fruit flies EVERYWHERE?
********
Have you noticed the HUGE numbers of little fruit flies EVERYWHERE?
It's that time of year but I can't remember
any other time
when they have been such a problem...so,
TEMPORARILY...
there will be a banana ban at
Sandpipers.
Nothing attracts fruit flies like bananas do.
Nothing attracts fruit flies like bananas do.
Please act responsibly and remove all bananas
from our midst.
You will be notified when it is safe to
purchase bananas again.
****************************
************
************
It has come to the attention of management
that a few of you have been irresponsibly feeding wildlife with the resultant
problem of unacceptable waste products being deposited on
lawns, cars and, gasp, people!
If you must feed the birds please get a signed
waiver from your neighbors and leave a copy with the office.
To make it a bit easier a link to the required form
is included below.
Just print it out in triplicate and get your neighbors
on either side to sign,
then leave two copies with the office.
Keep one for your own records.
To make it a bit easier a link to the required form
is included below.
Just print it out in triplicate and get your neighbors
on either side to sign,
then leave two copies with the office.
Keep one for your own records.
******************************
*****************
*****************
A really hot topic is the future of RV storage at Sandpipers. Management has been able to
rent space quite near the park and is working with the owners (a really nice
goat herding family) to house our extra cars, carts, trailers and RV's in their
field.
Payment should be made directly to them and in a timely manner so they can continue making improvements on the site, as they only work with the money they have on hand.
Payment should be made directly to them and in a timely manner so they can continue making improvements on the site, as they only work with the money they have on hand.
Right now the goats are hard at work eating the thorny shrubs that house the rodents and snakes that infest the field so it shouldn't be too long before the field is ready for us.
And is it secure, you ask!??
Barbed wire surrounds the field.
Keeps the goats in and the vandals out...
the only thing is...make sure your hoses and cords are well tucked away. Goats will eat anything, which we are counting on to keep the grass mowed.
Check it out when you are driving down Seminary Rd.
It's at the corner of Seminary and 2812.
************************************
It has come to this...the world is apparently
watching
Sandpipers
Resort on You Tube!
For the immediate future please be aware
that apparently the crop dusters and/or
helicopters
we routinely see over the resort are
filming us.
Please move any salacious activities
indoors for awhile.
Check the link below to see if you have
been compromised!
You Tube Video Featuring Sandpipers Resort
***********
***********************
I hope that this answers many of the speculations that have been floating around the park. As always, if you have further questions, please feel free to come to the office
and discuss the matter with me.
Oh, and by the way, we have been advised by the flooring company that the use of shoes is contributing to the deterioration
of the office floor surface...
and cloth fibers are clogging the AC filters!
Consequently, when the office is open
there will be no shoes and no clothing allowed.
Our goal has always, and will continue to be,
to provide our guests with a
"safe, beautiful and congenial" resort.
****************************************************************
***********************
I hope that this answers many of the speculations that have been floating around the park. As always, if you have further questions, please feel free to come to the office
and discuss the matter with me.
Oh, and by the way, we have been advised by the flooring company that the use of shoes is contributing to the deterioration
of the office floor surface...
and cloth fibers are clogging the AC filters!
Consequently, when the office is open
there will be no shoes and no clothing allowed.
Our goal has always, and will continue to be,
to provide our guests with a
"safe, beautiful and congenial" resort.
Monday, April 1, 2013
There has been some grousing over a few of the
new rules here at Sandpipers...rules which really are only intended to make our
resort even more beautiful and more perfect than it already is,
and to
make us more beautiful and perfect nudists.
New command: Within the Sandpiper fence all must be nude at all times. This is a 'nudist' resort and thus ALL shall be nude, ALWAYS!
New command: Within the Sandpiper fence all must be nude at all times. This is a 'nudist' resort and thus ALL shall be nude, ALWAYS!
I think most peeps understand that feeding
birds
only leads to attracting large flocks,
and eating in non-designated eating zones,
such as bird feeders or for that matter, JAKZ,
is not only against the rules but attracts vermin of all types.
Dropping crumbs (JAKZ) or seed (bird feeders) is dangerous and attracts all the wrong sorts of vermin. The bird feeder in the field should be sufficient for your viewing needs. And you can always invest in a pair of really powerful binoculars to view the grackles that visit the feeding station in the field.
Nature at it's finest!
only leads to attracting large flocks,
and eating in non-designated eating zones,
such as bird feeders or for that matter, JAKZ,
is not only against the rules but attracts vermin of all types.
Dropping crumbs (JAKZ) or seed (bird feeders) is dangerous and attracts all the wrong sorts of vermin. The bird feeder in the field should be sufficient for your viewing needs. And you can always invest in a pair of really powerful binoculars to view the grackles that visit the feeding station in the field.
Nature at it's finest!
We are all aware of the extreme drought in
South Texas.
Edinburg has issued some directives:
Washing cars never...and homes or RV’s
on designated days only, for instance.
And parking cars on grass...
well, if we could water there WOULD be grass,
but still...it’s a no-no.
No-no to parking,
no-no to watering grass.
Heaven forbid water trickles down the street!
We must cut back...if not we won't even have enough water for flushing! It'll be like living on a Carnival cruise ship!
A suggestion: Instead of drinking 64 ounces of water a day, cut back! Substitute beer, you'll be happier, and save water.
And bathing?
Instead go for a swim.
The chlorine will kill any bacteria.
Edinburg has issued some directives:
Washing cars never...and homes or RV’s
on designated days only, for instance.
And parking cars on grass...
well, if we could water there WOULD be grass,
but still...it’s a no-no.
No-no to parking,
no-no to watering grass.
Heaven forbid water trickles down the street!
We must cut back...if not we won't even have enough water for flushing! It'll be like living on a Carnival cruise ship!
A suggestion: Instead of drinking 64 ounces of water a day, cut back! Substitute beer, you'll be happier, and save water.
And bathing?
Instead go for a swim.
The chlorine will kill any bacteria.
The counting of how many pets you have is
undergoing a tweak.
Does a 75 pound bull dog really equal a 4 pound
Chihuahua?
From now on a pet weight limit will be imposed on each household. If your number is 75 pounds, for instance,
you could have up to 18 Chihuahuas with a bit left over.
And if your dogs get fat, well, put them on a diet!
From now on a pet weight limit will be imposed on each household. If your number is 75 pounds, for instance,
you could have up to 18 Chihuahuas with a bit left over.
And if your dogs get fat, well, put them on a diet!
To control the never ending increasing cost of
garbage removal several steps have been implemented in the past.
Dumping garden branches into the burn pile,
saving up non-garbage for Angel’s truck, etc.
All have worked well, yet still we are spending WAY
to much every week for removal.
That is why a pay-as-you-dump arm will be installed over the dumpster door. There will be a charge per bag, paid for by tokens which you can pick up in the office during regular office hours (check the office schedule-we are closed for lunch or afternoons or weekends, and there are reduced hours for summer, however we are there for you, just call to leave a message).
The token cost will be deducted from your activity account.
Dumping garden branches into the burn pile,
saving up non-garbage for Angel’s truck, etc.
All have worked well, yet still we are spending WAY
to much every week for removal.
That is why a pay-as-you-dump arm will be installed over the dumpster door. There will be a charge per bag, paid for by tokens which you can pick up in the office during regular office hours (check the office schedule-we are closed for lunch or afternoons or weekends, and there are reduced hours for summer, however we are there for you, just call to leave a message).
The token cost will be deducted from your activity account.
Now these rules, at first glance, may seem
harsh, but remember they are for your own good. To enforce them we are
asking for some “tough love” police...bounty hunters if you will.
If you see neighbors breaking any of these
rules please turn them in.
You will be rewarded by a Best Member award.
When you have accrued enough awards you can
redeem them for a senior drink in Flip Flopz...a special award will be given to
water bounty hunters. If you spy a neighbor wasting that liquid gold and
turn him in, you will receive an extra ration of water for the week.
Caring Adults
with Cheerful Attitudes!
************************************************************
April 1st, 2014
Big Bug!!!
Did you hear all the ruckus from our end of
the park yesterday?
You know Jay & Karen have bought Kate & Stretch's mobile. They are having it removed and the Taj Mahal of mobiles brought in later. Well, the movers have been preparing the old home for removal and have disturbed....something.
You may remember I found a tarantula in one of my kitchen cupboards awhile back.
You know Jay & Karen have bought Kate & Stretch's mobile. They are having it removed and the Taj Mahal of mobiles brought in later. Well, the movers have been preparing the old home for removal and have disturbed....something.
You may remember I found a tarantula in one of my kitchen cupboards awhile back.
Grossed me out and scared me to death.
Juan, our trusty bug guy, set traps and
thankfully no spiders had returned...until yesterday!
When doing my daily walk around the garden
this morning look what I discovered!
Juan says this is a new threat to the
valley and only a small handful have been reported..so far.
It's a new spider call the Angolan Witch
Spider.
They migrated from South America.
In Texas they primarily eat dogs and cats.
They migrated from South America.
In Texas they primarily eat dogs and cats.
It
took several gun shots to kill it, and the house movers helped.
If you want to read more about the Texas invasion of the Angolan Witch Spider click here.
If you want to read more about the Texas invasion of the Angolan Witch Spider click here.
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